Building Rapport

Building Rapport

- Nick K.

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The first step in building rapport is to mirror the person. You need to match where the person is in their speech, physical appearance and more. You need to learn to identify where the person is and what their modality of thought is.

What is thought modality? This is the way people process information.

There are three main modalities-

  • Visual
  • Auditory
  • Kinesthetic (often called Tactile). Sometimes this is referred to as a person’s VAK.


We get information from the world around us through our five senses. This information is constantly following in, even when we sleep. Our mind has to process this information. It decides whether the data is important or not and what to do with the data. We all use all three VAK modalities but people usually prefer to use a particular type over others. Here are some hints about what type a person is using when you are speaking with them.


• The person is better organized.
• They are neater in their environment.
• They are well-groomed, deliberate and appearance oriented.
• They appear more orderly.
• They come off as soft-spoken.
• They focus their attention on details like spelling.
• They memorize information by seeing pictures.
• They are less distracted by noises.

You may find that a visual person has difficulty with verbal instructions and often cannot remember them. Try not to use long verbal instructions with a visual person, or they may become distracted and bored. A visual person likes to read information, but does not like information read to them. These types of mental processors often focus on how something looks and likes to have eye contact during communication.


• An auditory person often talks to themselves.
• They are distracted by noises.
• Their lips move when they are thinking.
• They have the ability to repeat things quickly back to you.
• They have trouble with math and writing.
• They have the skill of spoken languages being easy to them.
• They are music lovers and learn better by hearing it.
• They memorize through the use of steps, procedures, and sequence.

An auditory person likes to hear about something rather than read about it. These types of thought processors respond much better to verbal instructions than a visual person. You will find that and auditory processor will focus more on the tone of voice and sets of words that a person uses when talking to them.


  • These type are focused on emotions.
  • They like to talk about how they feel about something.
  • They respond to touch and hugging.
  • These types are often athletic and are into sports and outdoors activities.

A Kinesthetic person will move around and even walk while they are thinking about something.

As you can see, knowing and identifying a person’s modality of thought is very useful. You need to connect and mirror the person’s modality that you are communicating with. You need to accept and use this information to understand how they communicate. Communication is an open road and flows to ways. Once you are on that road you can access the areas of their mind needed for covert hypnosis.