Why do you have to look people in the eyes when you’re speaking? As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. You will be judged by your sincerity and honesty based on how you look at another person. If you can’t think straight, it could mean that you’re hiding something or you have not cultivated a more pleasing and open personality.
If you’re having trouble making good eye contact with others, perhaps the following tips can help you:
1. Learn it in a gradual manner. If you’re not used to it, then most definitely, it will take you time before you are comfortable with what you’re doing. You can, however, do so in a gradual manner. For example, on your first week, you try to maintain at least 10 percent eye contact. Do this until you can do it 100 percent. You can also look at the person’s nose bridge, the one found in between the eyes for a start.
2. Look at the people on your screen. You can use your being a couch potato to help you practice on making eye contact. While you’re sitting in front of your TV, try looking at the people or characters into their eyes than in their hand or body motions or even in their setting. You would realize that you’re starting to feel what the character is feeling because you are able to open your line of communication.
3. Listen to someone. It’s much easier for you to learn how make a firm eye contact when you’re listening than when you’re talking. On the other hand, it makes you more attentive since your attention is focused on the person and what he or she could be saying, not on anything else.
4. Use your imagination. If you don’t watch TV a lot, you can try to be more ingenious. Think that you’re actually talking to someone and that you’re staring at the person’s face, particularly the eyes, while you do so. This is a good exercise if you’ll be meeting someone for the first time or when you’re not comfortable with the presence of another person.
5. Gaze into the eyes, not stare. To stare is to fix your eyes on something. When you’re talking, make sure that you don’t do that—that is, look into the person’s eyes and nothing else. Soon, he or she will feel uncomfortable and may even find you weird or suspicious. Rather, gaze, or look at someone with amazement, wonder, or admiration.
6. Start with yourself. If you’re scared of looking straight at other people’s eyes, then you can try doing it on yourself. All you need to do is to look yourself straight in the mirror. Ensure that you can get past the uncomfortability stage; otherwise, you would feel more uncomfortable if you’re already looking at other people. You can also further enhance the exercise by adding dialogues. Capture the right expression with your eyes.
Patience is a virtue, they say. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t get what you want at first try. Keep on trying until you can find the confidence you need to make firm eye contact.Read More
It’s a task to make people see and believe in what you are proposing. The idea of a persuasive speech has the same endeavor. Giving a persuasive speech is not one of the favorite things for people who are general public speakers or who just want to influence a small group of people. Unlike any other speech, the speech to persuade people, to agree to a thing or a view point, is not just another speech. It needs to be planned and structured properly. A word could make a difference, at the same time; a wrong thought can devastate the situation. It’s quite a delicate thing when it comes to pursue people with the help of a public speech.
As far as the structure of the speech is concerned, the outline of the speech would ensure whether you would succeed in the persuasion or not. The best way to go about it is to ensure that you should know who you are addressing the speech to. Secondly, you should be able to analyze their comprehension ability. Once you have done that set yourself in a platform that is a step higher than what you have anticipated for the audience. Think of all the negatives possible for the thought that you would like to promote. Have a counter answer ready for each of the same. Then look at the positives and list them in a way that the most important once would top your list.
Now while you structure the speech have the positives first and address the top and most obvious negatives before the audience could ask for it. This would give rest to the immediate negative thoughts of the people about what you are proposing. They would be very impressed and motivated about the though that you are suggesting as their immediate apprehension is already addressed. Before the negative thoughts could creep in they have their thought alignment in a positive direction. While you are presenting the positives or justifying the negatives, ensure that you use ample of examples to support what you are saying. Let the audience see the logic in what you are saying, rather than pushing them to agree to vouch for the thought you are suggesting.
To attract credibility in your speech, rather than just being motivational words, talk about facts and references around what you are suggesting. Documentation, survey results, opinion polls etc would be such examples. This would help building credibility for the thought you are vouching for. This would require some homework, but it’s worth the effort.
During the speech ensure that “I” should be replaced with words like – us, with, amongst, team, together etc. This would ensure a feeling that it’s for every once betterment and every one would reap benefits out of it.
The opening and the closing of the speech is also important. Opening would attract the people to listen. This is the most challenging part. You could open pleasantly and urge them to listen. What is restored for them in it should be stated openly. While closing you state the reason of you being their and paraphrase to conclude. Ask for acceptance, request the crowd to answer back together.
Give the speech with confidence. Make sure you practice at least once before the actual performance. Use hands and vocal expressions to attract the listeners. Set the right tone and you would definitely gain success at the persuasion that you have in mind.Read More
Influencing is one such art or skill without which it is virtually impossible to work in today’s work culture. There is no single or a perfect method of influencing others. As a matter of fact, almost everything acts as a factor, when it comes to influencing any individual. Whatever way it takes, but having the influencing power, really makes your job easier. Here are a few ways which will help you influence people:
- People who you are influencing should know that you are with and for the policies and procedure and also that whatever you are vouching for is legitimate and ethical. Usually people have apprehensions about the legalities; once assured that what you are suggesting is the best positive thing possible, people would be with you.
- Rather than using a dictating approach, try to give them some logic behind what you are suggesting. Use examples and very simple language, which they would understand, while explaining the logic behind what you are proposing. Make your point after providing an example and ask them to think, this would stimulate a thought process ending into acceptance with what you’re suggesting.
- The people you are trying to influence should be assured that you are their friend. Any concern or doubt that they would have would be taken care of, is an assurance that you give the people strength to be with what you are suggesting.
- How you socialize with people helps you influence their actions as well. Be very warm, helpful, friendly and pleasant to them, irrespective of the mind set that you are in. You should be socially active and visible. The fact that you are approachable would really add a bonus point.
- Rather than putting a point and asking the people to abide by them provide some logic. Try to give out a suggestion and ask for their inputs to make it better. This would help the people whom you would like to influence, to think about what you are asking on a positive note of acceptance.
- The confidence that you demonstrate while putting your thought forward would help you to make a point. The confidence that you would have would get you an immediate and ready acceptance from half of the people. This is a common psychological thinking that if something is said with confidence; people tend to assume that it’s the right thing to use. It creates a bias in their mind and their thought process becomes positive for what is said in that style.
- Associate the thought or the suggestion that you have to a moral value so that they could not only relate it to better but, at the same time would catalyze the process of influencing. Show passion, commitment and emotions.
- Lead with an example. What ever you are trying to propose, the same should be reflecting in your own behavior. This would not only give them confidence that you stand and follow what you preach, but would give them a practical demonstration of what you are proposing.
- Exchange something of value with the people who are with you. This would ensure that the people would know that it’s a fair deal to vouch for your suggestions as they are not used as an instrument. They have the same respect and value as they had before being influenced.
- Talk about team and oneness. Togetherness and alliance building would really take you far in the bargain. The power of unity would get your suggestions or proposal accepted.
Whenever it comes to new surroundings or people, do you really feel shy? It is quite imperative to get over your shyness at some point in your life and speak confidently. If you are able to achieve this, you will not only be able to share your ideas but will also be able to communicate without much of discomfort with anyone or everyone. Here are a few tips which can help you to speak confidently:
Tip 1: Practice
Practice is what makes the man perfect. The science behind it is that as you practice, the words get you into a subconscious mode and when you actually have to speak, it would flow naturally. To add expression so that what you speak sounds natural practice using a mirror.
Tip 2: Audience/ Listener
Knowing about the people you are addressing would make a lot of difference. This would help you to connect with them better. Even if in the beginning you are slightly hesitant, that hesitation would go away, as knowing them would help you to get comfortable, giving you all the confidence that you need to speak.
Tip 3: Being up to the point and using simple words
Avoid using heavy vocabulary and just keep it simple. Whatever that you want to say could be communicated best if you use simple words
Tip 4: Be mentally prepared
Before going ahead with what you have to say, despite all the practice you do, it is important that you be quite for at least 30-90 seconds to mentally prepare yourself.
Tip 5: Know or imagine the situation before actually being there and talking
If you know the place, be there and rehearse. If that is not an option than imagine the entire situation in your head. As and when you are imagining, you would notice certain points or events that you wouldn’t have been able to anticipate before. This would ensure that you would be ready for ever thing that would come your way. Knowing that you have anticipated almost every thing would help boost your confidence and would reflect when you would speak.
Tip 6: Volume
Ensure that you are audible while you are talking. As in case the other person is not able to hear you, he would ask you to speak again. This could shake your confidence.
Tip 6: Pace and pause consistency
Maintain and average pace, not too fast, not too slow. Pause according to what you want to communicate across. If the average pace is not good enough, tune your pace with that of the listener(s).
Tip 7: Vocal Variation
Have a friendly tone with lots of vocal expression. This would ensure listener’s interest is intact in what you are saying.
Tip 8: Think before you talk
If you are required to speak something on the spot for which you couldn’t practice, ensure that you have an average pace and think before you talk. While saying a sentence, ensure that you structuring your thoughts then say the next one.
Tip 9: Reactions
Look out for the reactions of the listener. The reactions would help you gain confidence about your thoughts being communicated and understood well at the same time. The fact that you are heard and comprehended would encourage you to speak better.
Tip 10: Don’t be embarrassed by your faults
It important to let go of any mistake that you did while speaking, continue speaking. Don’t get nervous. Get to the next thought and focus your thoughts away from that.
Source-Public SpeakingRead More
The success of a person not only lies on the way in which you fulfill your accomplishments but also on the way in which it is perceived by others. You have to make yourself more visible to be more successful. There are many things that you can do to increase your visibility. Developing the ability of competence is one method to increase visibility. You have to increase your ability in areas that are important to your organization. Your perception to excel in your performance will increase your opportunities for better job positions. When a person becomes competent and capable in their field they will be easily noticed by the important people in their
Your overall image is another factor that makes you visible in your working environment. The way you present yourself in front of others makes all the difference.
The first impression that you cause in the mind of other people has great importance. Your dress code and appearances are factors that affect your career. Your dressing and appearance do make a statement about the kind of person you are. A person is judged initially from the way they look from outside. Joining one or two professional associations connected to your profession will help to increase your visibility. This will give you an opportunity to communicate with other people in your profession. Instead
of simply attending the meeting of the association, try to find out the key committees and volunteer for service. You can also join some charitable organization and become active by giving your service.
The ability of a person to set priorities is a factor that moulds your career. You most have the ability to identify relevant tasks to be completed each day. Once you have set the priority you must try to complete it as quickly as you can. A person who can be depende
d on for completion of jobs will be easily identified. To complete your jobs in time you have to increase your working skills. You can go for additional courses to develop your working skills. You can seek the help of your organization for financing your studies. A positive mental attitude is required to make you more visible. Your ability to communicate and cooperate with others will make you more visible. You mu
st be very cheerful and optimistic in your working environment.
There are basically five things that a person can do to be more visible and successful in life. Try to be excellent in your field of work. A person who is competent to excel in his work will be identified and motivated by others. Take care to make yourself look good. You have to dress properly to grab the attention of other people. Try to increase your contacts both within and outside your organization.
Find time to provide some kind of services to the society. Go for additional courses to improve your working skills. Always be optimistic and cheerful. You should have the mind to cooperate with others and be helpful.Read More
The ability to empower others or to create an impact on others using your positive qualities is important for the success of a person. Empowering others do not mean to control others; it is the ability of a person to bring the energy and enthusiasm out of another person. The first thing that a person should do to empower others is to eliminate all factors that reduce their ability for what they are doing. Once you are able to empower a person you can motivate and inspire them. You can use you ability and knowledge to provide energy and resources to make them more effective. You have to empower three types of people in your life. They can be people close to you like family and friends or your staff and coworkers or other people with whom you interact like customers, suppliers or bankers.
There are many simple ways to empower people closer to you. The self esteem of a person is sacred to everyone. You must treat others with the same importance you give to yourself. The simplest way to empower others maintaining their self esteem is by showing expressions of appreciation in every positive thing they do. When you are appreciating or thanking them you are making them feel that they are important. They will feel that what they did was valuable and worthy. They will then be more willing to do what you are saying. You can empower people closer to you by using generous praise and approval. They will think themselves to be more important. This will make them feel better. When a person feels better he will be able to act better. You can increase the self esteem of those closer to by paying more attention to what they say and act. This will make them feel that they are more important and responsible.
The ability to motivate people at work places requires clarity in communication. You must be able to communicate exactly what is needed from the other person. When you are able to explain clearly what you require, the other person will be happier and more empowered. Consideration is another motivator that can empower people. A good motivator will have the ability to maintain a friendly relationship with the employees. Such people can control the employees without creating any hostility. You can ask personal questions to the employees or have lunch with them to create a friendly atmosphere.
You can empower other types of people around you by using the general principles of motivation like appreciation, attention, consideration and clarity in communication. The most important factor is that you should be genuine in your approach. You must have the ability to create a positive mental attitude in their minds. A person has to be friendly, patient and open minded to be successful in motivating others. Others must feel comfortable in your presence. You must understand the difficulties and be cooperative to them. You must deliberately show special interests in people and then they will be responding better to help you.
The success in the life of person depends on his personality. And personality of a person depends on his self esteem. Self esteem is the driving power that provides energy for your actions. The enthusiasm and energy to act in a positive manner is derived form self esteem. Self esteem form the foundation for the ability of a person to say and do the right things. Self esteem is different from self confidence. Self esteem is the level and value that you give to yourself. People with high self esteem will think themselves to be wonderful and will be able to act with more self confidence. People with high self esteem can seldom fail due to the infinite flow of energy source from the mind. So, self esteem is the most important factor for the success of a person. A person’s ultimate aim should be to increase your self esteem.
A person has to carefully build and maintain their self esteem as they are maintaining their physical fitness. You are fully responsible for maintaining the strength of your mind and body. There are basically six elements of life that is directly liked to the self esteem of a person. They are the goals, standards, success, experience, comparison, recognition and rewards that you encounter in your life.
You must be able to set your goals appropriately. The correct way in which you set your goals and achievement of these goals in a timely manner will make you feel better. You will feel more confident when you are able to accomplish your goals as planned.
You must be able to set clear standards and values for your life. A person with self esteem will be able to act according to the values they consider to be important. When the values and ideals are higher, then you will consider yourself as a person with higher self esteem.
The experience of a person is important for building self esteem. The goals and standards you set are important to obtain positive experiences. Simplify your goals so that it can be completed as you have planned. Your self esteem will increase when you are able to achieve your target.
A person with higher self esteem should be able to compare themselves with others positively. You must have the ability to know what you are doing. Always try to do things better than other successful people. You must try to compare yourself only with successful people and study their performance to improve.
Recognition of you achievements by others will always help to increase your self esteem. You should let others know about your achievements. When you are appreciated by someone who you considers to be important your self esteem will go up.
You must be rewarded suitably according to your accomplishments. The bonus, better office, cars and trophies are rewards that recognize your accomplishments. If the existing situation does not provide circumstances for rewards, you should try to create your own system for rewarding yourself.Read More